Don’t be an Ass at the Grocery Store

Since I seem to be using this blog primarily as a way to vent my frustration with little everyday annoyances, here’s one more.

Image by bluedaisy, from

Image by bluedaisy, from

Unless you’re super-rich and have your own personal grocery shopper (if you are, don’t read my blog – I hate you), we all have to go to the supermarket/natural food store/grocery/whatever. Sometimes it is crowded, sometimes you’re in a hurry… there are many variables that might put you in a less-than-pleasant mood. But that’s no reason to be an ass.

“What?!” you may say, “I’m a wonderful human being and the sun not only shines out of my pooper, it actually revolves around me! How could anyone take issue with my grocery store behavior?”

Well, gentle reader, I’m here to give you some tips on ways to keep your fellow shoppers from wanting to cram that French baguette down your throat. Take notes.

  1. Aisle right-of-way: Treat it like driving – keep right. (Unless you’re an Englisher, in which case you’re so proper and correct this doesn’t apply to you at all.) There is really no reason to take up the entire aisle, meandering down the center and holding up traffic. Again, keep right, and if you need to stop and peruse something, pull your cart as far to the side as you can. Seriously people, let us pass.
  2. Changing your mind: If you put an item in your basket, and decide several aisles later that you really don’t want it, take it back and put it where it belongs. Don’t stick that package of cheese cubes on the shelf next to the miso soup – not only is that an unappetizing food combination,it is lazy and creates unnecessary work for the underpaid store employees.
  3. Bagging: Ever been in a ridiculously long line at the store, and the person checking out is just standing there, doing nothing except watching the overworked cashier ring up and bag every item? Now just think what would happen if that customer would show a little initiative and, stay with me now, bag their own groceries! A radical idea, true. But if this happened, the cashier would be less frazzled and more friendly, the checkout would take half the time, and the line would move twice as fast! Win/win/win! If you think you’re not qualified to bag your own groceries, just remember these tips:
  • Heavy stuff (canned goods, liquid soap refill) on the bottom.
  • Lighter or fragile stuff (eggs, grapes, tomatoes) on the top.
  • Impulse items (that candy bar you want to scarf as you drive home) on the top.
  • Make sure paper bags are light enough to lift without ripping handles. Give it a test heft. Add more items if there’s room.

That’s it, really. These three little steps will keep you from getting on my nerves irritating your fellow grocery shoppers. And if everyone is in a better mood, you will be too!

Got your own shopping rules? Leave ’em in the comments!


3 Responses to “Don’t be an Ass at the Grocery Store”

  1. Jen Says:

    Another rule that I would add is to greet your underpaid grocery clerk by name. Most clerks are grateful that I took the time to read their badge and said hello.

  2. Kat Says:

    I’d like to add that if you’re in the express lane (or any for that matter, but especially express), don’t pay part of your bill in pennies and the other part on your debit card. This is especially irritating when I just need to grab a few things on my lunchbreak that I finally got at 5 pm.

  3. Turkeliciious Says:

    If you’re shopping for the dooms day and your grocery cart is full to the brim. Do NOT use the self check out. Think about it.. The keyword for self check out is “quick”. If you have 20 items in your cart 1 of them is likely to require price check.. meaning Not so quick. The clerk monitoring the self checkout is not a personal shopper but a simple observer to prevent stealing.

    Just go to a regular line, interact with cashier, catch up on who is cheating on who, find out what did Britney do yesterday, or who is sleeping with Brad Pitt.

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