Don’t be an Ass at the Grocery Store

Since I seem to be using this blog primarily as a way to vent my frustration with little everyday annoyances, here’s one more.

Image by bluedaisy, from www.sxc.hu

Image by bluedaisy, from http://www.sxc.hu

Unless you’re super-rich and have your own personal grocery shopper (if you are, don’t read my blog – I hate you), we all have to go to the supermarket/natural food store/grocery/whatever. Sometimes it is crowded, sometimes you’re in a hurry… there are many variables that might put you in a less-than-pleasant mood. But that’s no reason to be an ass.

“What?!” you may say, “I’m a wonderful human being and the sun not only shines out of my pooper, it actually revolves around me! How could anyone take issue with my grocery store behavior?” Read the rest of this entry »

Advertisements

Toilet Etiquette

tp1

I know, I know. Do adults really need advice on toilet etiquette? In my experience, yes. Plus, it is kinda funny. If you personally don’t need this, just skip reading it, or forward it to someone you know who does.

  1. The seat, up or down? Usually down, but when in doubt, leave it as you found it.
  2. Hands. Always, always, always wash your hands. There is no excuse for not washing your hands. No towel? Wipe your hands on your pants. No soap? Warm water is better than nothing. No water? Make sure the toilet flushed.
  3. What’s your number? Generally speaking, try to avoid dropping a bomb at someone else’s house. If you absolutely cannot make your bowels wait, poo considerately. Turn on the fan or open a window. Use a little air freshener. And by all means, if you’re known for the, er, size of your deposits, engage in a little preemptive flushing midway through. It may be embarrassing to be heard to flush twice, but it is mortifying to be heard using the plunger. Read the rest of this entry »

I’m OK. You’re OK. But not as OK as me.

Due to the number of people I interact with on a day-to-day basis, the following topic has been on my mind very frequently: I don’t like most people.

Now, before you get all riled up about what a sad and lonely person I must be, let me set the record straight: I have many good friends, people I care about and enjoy spending time with, and who I think feel the same way about me. My social calendar is just fine, and my life is not devoid of love or meaning.

That being said, I don’t really like most people I come into contact with each day. I don’t dislike them, but I don’t particularly like them, either. I can’t imagine hanging out with them, or wanting to be their friend on Facebook, or really even sustaining a mildly interesting conversation with them. I honestly would rather avoid them altogether. Maybe I have prudent and discriminating taste in friends. Or maybe I’m an ass.

A few days ago, though, I had an epiphany. There must be people who feel the same way about me! “WHAT!?!,” I thought to myself, “How could anyone not like me?”

It is true, though. I probably interact with several people each day who don’t really care for me. Not because I’m a bad person (I’m not), or because I stink (I have excellent hygiene, thank you), or because I’m obnoxiously loud (I’m actually rather soft-spoken). It’s just because we have wildly dissimilar interests, beliefs, senses of humor, world outlooks, choice of books, clothing styles, or whatever. It could be ANYTHING! Or nothing! When I meet someone I don’t like, I have to remind myself that they very well may not like me either, and there’s very little I can do about it. Sure, I can be polite and attentive, but good manners don’t instantly forge a bond of friendship. All I can do is try my best to get through the encounter with grace and professionalism, and not get upset that we’re not BFFs or that his/her voice grates on my last nerve. It’ll be over soon and I can go home to the one who truly understands me and never annoys me — my dog.

5 reasons to bring your own bags to the grocery store

1. You won’t have to add to the giant wad of plastic bags you already have.

2. Love your planet! You won’t be adding waste to the landfill, or pouring more money into the oil industry — it take petroleum to manufacture plastic and to power the trucks that deliver the bags!

3. You just look like a really cool, eco-friendly granola girl/guy, which is very attractive to people you want to find you attractive. Green is the new black.

4. Bring a non-wafer-thin-plastic bag and you’re less likely to have rips and tears that allow your groceries to escape and run rampant around your car at every turn.

5. Some of those reusable bags you buy at the store, or canvas bags, have long handles. If you shop at Harris Teeter, you can sling those handles over your shoulder, leaving you two hands free to enjoy the complimentary sugar cookies. Mmm, sugar cookies….