Don’t be an Ass at the Grocery Store

Since I seem to be using this blog primarily as a way to vent my frustration with little everyday annoyances, here’s one more.

Image by bluedaisy, from

Image by bluedaisy, from

Unless you’re super-rich and have your own personal grocery shopper (if you are, don’t read my blog – I hate you), we all have to go to the supermarket/natural food store/grocery/whatever. Sometimes it is crowded, sometimes you’re in a hurry… there are many variables that might put you in a less-than-pleasant mood. But that’s no reason to be an ass.

“What?!” you may say, “I’m a wonderful human being and the sun not only shines out of my pooper, it actually revolves around me! How could anyone take issue with my grocery store behavior?” Read the rest of this entry »


I’m OK. You’re OK. But not as OK as me.

Due to the number of people I interact with on a day-to-day basis, the following topic has been on my mind very frequently: I don’t like most people.

Now, before you get all riled up about what a sad and lonely person I must be, let me set the record straight: I have many good friends, people I care about and enjoy spending time with, and who I think feel the same way about me. My social calendar is just fine, and my life is not devoid of love or meaning.

That being said, I don’t really like most people I come into contact with each day. I don’t dislike them, but I don’t particularly like them, either. I can’t imagine hanging out with them, or wanting to be their friend on Facebook, or really even sustaining a mildly interesting conversation with them. I honestly would rather avoid them altogether. Maybe I have prudent and discriminating taste in friends. Or maybe I’m an ass.

A few days ago, though, I had an epiphany. There must be people who feel the same way about me! “WHAT!?!,” I thought to myself, “How could anyone not like me?”

It is true, though. I probably interact with several people each day who don’t really care for me. Not because I’m a bad person (I’m not), or because I stink (I have excellent hygiene, thank you), or because I’m obnoxiously loud (I’m actually rather soft-spoken). It’s just because we have wildly dissimilar interests, beliefs, senses of humor, world outlooks, choice of books, clothing styles, or whatever. It could be ANYTHING! Or nothing! When I meet someone I don’t like, I have to remind myself that they very well may not like me either, and there’s very little I can do about it. Sure, I can be polite and attentive, but good manners don’t instantly forge a bond of friendship. All I can do is try my best to get through the encounter with grace and professionalism, and not get upset that we’re not BFFs or that his/her voice grates on my last nerve. It’ll be over soon and I can go home to the one who truly understands me and never annoys me — my dog.

5 reasons to bring your own bags to the grocery store

1. You won’t have to add to the giant wad of plastic bags you already have.

2. Love your planet! You won’t be adding waste to the landfill, or pouring more money into the oil industry — it take petroleum to manufacture plastic and to power the trucks that deliver the bags!

3. You just look like a really cool, eco-friendly granola girl/guy, which is very attractive to people you want to find you attractive. Green is the new black.

4. Bring a non-wafer-thin-plastic bag and you’re less likely to have rips and tears that allow your groceries to escape and run rampant around your car at every turn.

5. Some of those reusable bags you buy at the store, or canvas bags, have long handles. If you shop at Harris Teeter, you can sling those handles over your shoulder, leaving you two hands free to enjoy the complimentary sugar cookies. Mmm, sugar cookies….

Using, without being, a technological tool.

Without a doubt, technological fluency can boost your credentials and desirablility in the job market. Employers are increasingly looking for people with computer skills, whether they be word processing, programing, spreadsheet/database creation, graphic design, or the myriad of other technological subdivisions in which one can specialize.

However, in the absence of a little attention and plain ol’ common sense, your use of technology can quickly turn around and bite you in the ass.

For example, say you’re in the market for a job, and you’ve just sent out resumes to several enticing prospects. Unfortunately, the day you left your phone at home was the day several potential employers chose to call you, requesting an interview. Luckily, they left messages. Unluckily, rather than hearing a tasteful greeting on your voicemail, their first impression of you was one of the following:

  • “WAZZZUUUUUUUUP!” followed by ten seconds of silence before the beep.
  • Your roommate accompanying you on guitar while you sing your rendition of “Hey hey, we’re the Monkees” with the new lyrics of “We’re spanking our monkeys.”
  • A belch.
  • A ring-back tone, most likely a rapper asking where his bitches be.

Looks like you might have to keep donating plasma to make rent.

Ok, a few weeks later you’ve grown-up-ized your voicemail greeting and sent out a fresh batch of resumes. Somewhere, a hiring manager is looking it over, and thinking to him/herself, “This looks like a promising candidate. I’ll send off an email to see if they can come interview next week.” Their eyes travel up the page to the letterhead, seeking your email address, and they see…..

Email addresses are free, in case you were wondering. There is no excuse to give out a vulgar, immature, or otherwise inappropriate email address to potential employers or collegues. You can keep your funny email address to use with friends, but swing by Gmail and pick out something more mature or professional to use on job applications. Your name, or first initial and last name, or last name plus a number, or something similar makes a professional and easy-to-remember email address. With many email providers, you can even get the mail from all your addresses delivered to one inbox, so you don’t forget to check one of them.

Little details like these can be the difference between looking like a candidate for supervisor, and looking like you need adult supervision.